How I deal with Anxiety

I have always been a naturally anxious person; I can remember being extremely stressed and concerned, even as a child. My husband is the fun one and I'm the worrier. However, after my daughter was born 3 years ago, I struggled with pretty serious postpartum anxiety, which took things to a whole other level. I've come a far way from then; however, even now, there are days where I feel the crushing weight of pressure on my chest, which paralyzes me from doing anything productive (which, conveniently enough, gives me even more anxiety about all the things I need to do). Thankfully, I have found some useful tools, strategies, and coping mechanisms, for the Bad Anxiety Days. 

Journaling 

After recently finishing a 10-week, small group counselling session with a lot of homework, I feel even more strongly about the power of writing stuff out on paper. For me, this looks like a few different things.

• Writing a letter that I will never send - I have a tendency to overthink things (like, for example, a negative comment from someone on the Internet) to the point where it consumes my day and I literally cannot accomplish anything. Not exactly a productive use of my time as a busy, working mom. So, I have started writing letters in these moments. It allows me to remove the emotion, to explain myself, to say the things I can't stop thinking about. 
• Create a playlist - Maybe it's just me, but there is something about creating a playlist that is incredibly soothing for me. I wrote out a grief/healing playlist in a notebook, with quotes from each song to identify why I chose it, and I can still look back at it (or even listen to the songs). For you, it might be upbeat songs that inspire or motivate you. It might be songs you love, that remind you of happier times. The topic of the playlist could be whatever you need.
  
• Happiness + Gratitude - Writing out the things I'm thankful for or the things that make me happy has been incredibly grounding for me. I have even created a Joy List in a notebook that I am continually adding words and pictures to. 
  

essential Oils 

I'm not exactly what you'd call a "crunchy mom." Still, I can't deny the powerful, positive effects certain essential oils have had for my anxiety.

• Copaiba - this oil is extracted from Copaifera trees and it is considered one of the most anti-inflammatory substances on earth... and it's been used for hundreds of years to help ease feelings of stress and/or anxiety (sign me up). I add a drop under my tongue when I am feeling the tight, anxious feeling in my chest; I hold it for 20 seconds and then drink water. It doesn't taste amazing and, heck, maybe it's a placebo effect, but I've noticed a serious difference since I started using it. You can also diffuse copaiba or use topically.
• Lavender - I mean, there's a reason so many spas smell like a field of lavender; it'll help you chill the F out. I have a lavender roller bottle that I apply to the back of my neck (and, honestly, will just take a moment to smell sometimes).
• Wild Orange - You'll find Wild Orange oil in my diffuser at least once a week. There's something about it that has this dualistic calming and energizing effect that I can't get enough of. ​

Go outside

This month, my husband and I gave each other 3 things we would like each other to do to help our relationship. One of the tasks my husband gave me? 

Leave the house every day.

As a work-from-home mom (especially when we had the coldest, longest winter), I have often found myself coming to the end of the day and realizing I haven't left my house. Those 8 freezing months of winter were when my anxiety really peaked over the past year; I've learned that I need to get out and be in the world, especially when I am feeling utterly alone in my anxiety.

​My husband recognizes this about me and so he has put it on my to-do list. I'm a better wife and mama when I'm not stuck in that space. 

Is this always easy? No. I'm not going to lie. But forcing myself to get out of the house, even just to walk around the block, has always helped my breath a little better through the anxiety.

3 Things Only To Do List

Look, most of my to-do lists? They are crazy long. Sometimes, I'll even write things down after I've finished them, just to cross them off. But when I'm feeling pretty incapable of doing anything? My 3 things only to-do list can be just what I need.

I write down 3 things I need to do: 1 business/work related, 1 house/cleaning, 1 mom/wife life. It might look like this:

• Read personal development for 10 minutes.
• Put in 1 load of laundry.
• Take Olivia for a walk.

This? This is manageable for me. I don't look at this and feel like my mind and body won't cooperate. 

I don't think I have all the answers when it comes to anxiety. But these are some simple strategies that have worked in my own life to help with the over-thinking, second-guessing, and inability to get my mind to cooperate. How do you deal with anxiety?