I don't know of any girl who grows up thinking, "I really want to be a stepmom when I get older!"
And it's not just the "wicked stepmother" stereotype that is deeply engrained in our culture.
It is missed firsts.
It's coming second.
It is balance and compromise like nothing else.
It is a risk.
Ah, but life is full of risk. And if you don't risk anything, you risk even more.
In 2015, in the course of 4 weeks, I moved from a small trailer in the middle of nowhere, where I lived only with my dog and my ever-growing baby bump, to a home in the city with my fiancé, his son (every second week) and, shortly after, our newborn baby. Less than a year later, our niece moved in with us.
It was (and still is) a life of huge adjustments, daily learning, and uncomfortable growth.
It is more laundry in a week than I used to do in a month. It is structure and routine and sports practices, when I, not so long ago, could binge-watch an entire Netflix series in a weekend. It is conversations at midnight about our parenting and whether we're doing a good job.
Fellow stepmoms - if you are feeling overwhelmed (or know that you will feel those feelings again) - hang in there. It's not easy, but you are strong and capable.
Our family is built on risk and change and growth. It's not perfect, but it is worth it.
Hi, I'm Sarra and sometimes I suck at commitment. To my blog, anyway.
I've continued to be committed for the past few days to the Minimalism Game ... I just haven't been able to make the time to write about it. Whoops.
It's getting easier every day to say, "Yeah, I don't need this crap." It's getting easier to separate the sentimental value I feel from obligation to keep things I don't really want. I'm making room for more happiness. More time. More experiences. More adventures.
I feel happier in my home.
I feel more productive every day.
I feel good.
I spent a ridiculous amount of time today brainstorming a tagline for my life coaching business.
In reality? I want to help women align their passions with their actions. I want to help moms balance the #momlife/ME time struggle. I want to help you get your shit together.
Ok, I'll keep working on it.
Today, I returned 8 bags of recycling (and walked out $54 richer). I also recycled a ridiculous amount of bottles from our bathroom.
- Birthday invitations from the 80s
- Labels with my name printed on them from elementary school
- A swim badge
- A journal/notebook of quotes, in which I inscribed in the cover, "This is not for any him. This is for me."
- A "Block Parent" version of Snakes and Ladders
- Birthday blower things
- A bag of rocks
- A Canadian flag
- A tiny clip-on koala
- Bottlecap glasses
Things that are no longer in my house.
I knew when I had a baby that my life would be forever changed.
I knew I'd love more and get less sleep.
I knew that my body would change and that I would change a lot of diapers.
I knew that I wanted to be a certain person as a mother; I knew that I would be a work-in-progress.
I knew that labour would be a challenge. I knew that it would be worth it.
I didn't know how freakin' much I'd love this tiny person that I grew.
I didn't know that I would look at her 2 years later and marvel at the fact that she lived inside of me for 9 months.
I didn't know that the idea of having another baby someday would cause me so much turmoil.
And I didn't know that my feet would grow 1/2 a size, causing me to give away 6 of my favourite pairs of shoes (after hoping and praying for 2 years that my shoe size would shrink).
It's a full moon tonight. It arrives at 3:02 a.m on September 6th.
Many people believe in the power of the Full Moon. There are rituals and symbolic practices around releasing, unburdening yourself, letting go. How perfectly aligned with my project in purging our home of the items that do not serve us.
I wrote out my stresses, my emotions... the inner stuff that I wish to release. And then I burned that shit. I filled this glass jar with water and I stuck it outside with my crystals and I let that hippie part of me out. I sat and I said my intentions and I set free the things that do not serve me.
As for our game... today, I sent off something to my mama, a gift that has been in our house for months. 1 item.
Then, I returned 5+ doilies to my mother-in-law, from my de-doily-fying of our home. For some reason, my husband had doilies all over the place when I moved in and a couple weeks ago, I reached my doily limit. No more doilies.
Also, I read an article today about my former students who were killed last year and cried. That's probably why this is all over the place. If you'd like to honour their memory, you can read the article here and watch the short video on facebook here.
Let's be honest. I may be seriously regretting this decision on Day 20.
But, here we have 2 garbage bags of clothes, donated to The Kidney Foundation of Canada for day 2 of the Minimalism Game. Olivia insisted on coming along for the ride, rather than stay with her daddy, because she has serious case of FOMO (aka Fear Of Missing Out), especially when it comes to her mama. Hopefully, her separation anxiety doesn't come into play when I tackle her room (there's got to be at LEAST 100 things to get rid of in there).
I could have broken these bags down and counted the items, but they've been sitting in my living room for weeks and my house for much longer and I am happy to have them gone.
(Please disregard the fact that there are bags and bags of infant clothes in my basement and garage that I continue to save in case of future baby girls.)