30 LESSONS FROM THE PAST 30 YEARS

In just a couple of days, I will be celebrating my 30th birthday. Can I just say...

Whoa. 

30 seems big. It seems different. It seems like the edge of change. Honestly, 29 has been a heart-breaking year of struggle and I am ready for something new. And to celebrate this new decade, here are 30 things I've learned over the past 30 years.

• You can do hard things. You can walk away from that abusive relationship, you can move to a foreign country where you know absolutely no one, you can recover from major surgery and learn to be a mother at the same time. The universe will never give you something you can't handle.
• But it's ok to ask for help. In November of 2017, I made an appointment to talk to a counsellor about some of the struggles we've faced this past year. We've all got baggage. But How I Met Your Mother said it best: "Everyone’s got some baggage; it’s part of life. But like anything else, it’s easier when someone gives you a hand with it." Never be afraid to ask for help.
• Gratitude is the most important thing. If you want something, express gratitude for the things you already have. If you have the desire to make more money, be grateful for every single dollar in your bank account already. If you've got goals and dreams, remember to stop and be grateful for the life you have already.
• Coffee is also really, really important. Especially when you become a mom.
• Give back. If you are not now willing to donate 10% of your $1,000/month income, what will change when you make $10,000/month? Start giving back now, with what you can, whether that's a small portion of your pay check to the charity of your choice or time volunteered to support a cause you care about. (Personally, I scheduled monthly contributes to MADD Canada).

• Your passions are not random. Those things you love to do? The pull of your heart, the fire in your stomach? You should pay attention; your passions are your calling.
• ​​Comparison is the thief of joy. Run your own race - what other people have accomplished has no bearing on what you are capable of.
• It's about your health; it's not about a number on a scale. I have always struggled in my relationship with food, in obsessing over gaining and losing weight, with the anxiety around fad diets and failure. After Olivia was born, I began to focus on my health, but I still found myself consumed with caring about my appearance and before/after pictures and being skinny. After dealing with some seriously traumatizing stuff this year, I've gained 30 pounds; I've always been an emotional eater. As a birthday present to myself, I'm banishing the scale from my bedroom and focusing on how I feel with the food I eat, the exercise I do, the self-care I prioritize for myself. Whether I ever lose these 30 pounds won't matter as long as I'm healthy and happy.
• Spend as much time as possible with your grandparents. I am regularly wishing for more time than what I was given (although always grateful for the incredible grandparents I had).
• Stand up for what is right. You'll know what is right by the feeling in your gut. I've learned that I'm not afraid to tell off the teenager making fun of younger kids at my stepson's basketball game or to voice my opinions on injustices in the world.
  

• Success is not a straight line. From starting out to reaching your goal is more like the craziest rollercoaster ever.
• Learning doesn't stop when you graduate. Read everything you can get your hands on; don't shy away from the self-help/personal development section. Listen to podcasts. Ask questions. Commit to being a lifelong learner.
• Brussels sprouts actually aren't that bad... if you cook them right.
• You can do anything, but not everything. Balance matters. Learn to schedule, learn to say no, learn to delegate, learn to sometimes let the dishes sit in the sink overnight so you can get enough sleep.
• Choosing your spouse is a big freaking deal. I mean, it's like the most important decision of your life, with the potential for a positive or negative outcome. That's your person. I'm grateful every single day for the hardworking, seriously handsome, respectful, loving, goofy man I married.

• Forgiveness is all about you. Let go the hurt. Stop worrying about the past. Remember, holding onto a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Forgive and move on ... for YOU.
• Don't let anyone shame you for the things you love. You get super excited when Pumpkin Spice Lattes finally come out at Starbucks? Cool! You're into country music? Awesome! You have seen every episode of Duck Dynasty 17 times? Girl, do your thing. People who bitch and complain about what other people like are sad people.
• Don't shame other people for the things they love. See above.
• Remember to fill your cup because you can't pour from an empty one. You know on an airplane, when they tell you that you have to put your own oxygen mask on first, before assisting others? That's what self-care is. Put your own oxygen mask on first.
• Put the diamond earrings your husband buys you as a wedding gift in a safe place (especially if you have a toddler).

• Travel. Wherever you can, as much as you can. The quote goes something like those: Life is a book and those who do not travel read only a page. I have learned the most about myself outside of my city (and outside of my comfort zone).
• Not everyone is going to like you. That's ok. Oh man, I wish I could go back to 17 year old Sarra and tell her this one. (She found a really mean blog post about herself, written by a classmate, and she obsessed about it for way too freakin' long). Let me say it again. Not everyone is going to like you. That's ok. 
• There's no such thing as too many books. Seriously. You can never have too many.
• Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Some people might disagree with this, but the memories I've made with my family there (and the excitement I have to take our own kids there in February) are priceless. Disney will always be my favourite place.
• Learn your love language. Learn your partner's love language. It sounds totally cheesy, but knowing how your partner expresses love (and how you crave affection) will help your relationship. You can take the test for free here.

• Breakfast food is suitable for any meal. Pancakes for dinner? Yes please.
• Life doesn't stop when you become a mama. You had goals and dreams and ambitions before you became mom to a tiny human. Those don't just disappear when you acquire this new name. Yes, you have to adjust and yes, things will change. But don't forget that you're a complete person outside of motherhood.
• ​Get rid of the stuff that doesn't bring you joy. The jeans you keep that don't fit and make you miserable whenever you see them hanging in your closet - they gotta go. The clutter in the kitchen? Get rid of it. The toxic friendships, the bad relationships, the large collection of soaps stolen from hotels over the years that won't get used but take up precious space in your bathroom storage? Let it all go.
• Find your zone of genius. What are you really, really good at? Do that thing (or, you know, those things because I guarantee you, you're not just good at just one thing). But those things you suck at, the things that drain your energy? Find a way to delegate. Don't like making graphics for your blog? Hire a virtual assistant to spend an hour a week doing it for you. Love making graphics for your blog? Girl, do your thing. You get it. Exist within your zone of genius.
• Be kind. Be kind. Be kind. I know now, this is the most important thing you can be. Kindness matters. Spread it everywhere.

What's the most important lesson you've learned?